If Black People Said The Stuff White People Say

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If Black People Said The Stuff White People Say

Wait a minute. You don’t listen to Taylor Swift?
No.
Girl, I am like whiter than you.
*Cheery, banjo music plays*
Was it hard to grow up in the suburbs?
It must have been really boring with no police activity or anything.
Your hair is amazing.
Thank you.
You know it’s kind of like my Golden Retriever. It’s so limp and lifeless.
Like how do you do that?
Your name is so easy to spell and pronounce.
Is it like really easy to get a job?
Check out these photos of me volunteering at an orphanage in Europe.
Look at those little White boys and girls. They were so inspiring.
Oh wow! You know you don’t sound like a dumb hick at all. *Clicks teeth*. That’s so cool.
You are so pretty for a White girl.
It was really sad when Romney lost, huh?
Good ol’ Mitt… Couldn’t do it… Could not do it.
You are dating a White guy. Does he have like a really tiny penis?
Aw, you must listen to that rural music, right?
You know who you look just like?
Who?
Jennifer Lawrence.
So I just saw Titanic. How are you dealing?
I had no idea your people had it so hard.
Your skin is so pale.
Can I touch it? Oh wow!
You know I was just talking about that with my friend Jeremy…He’s White.
I don’t even think of you as White.
I don’t! I really don’t.
Wow! So you have to wear sunscreen?
That is so crazy.
Hey, uh, I’m from out of town. Can you help me find some meth?
What do you mean you don’t listen to Macklemore?
You’re White.
I’ve always heard that White girls are super boring in bed.
Oh hey!
Yo!
What’s up my crack–
Whoa…
Oh. Naw man it’s cool. You know, I can say it. My girlfriend’s White.
Yeah… Not cool, man.
Ok. My bad, Daniel. My bad.
It’s Greg…
*Cheery, banjo music plays*
Greg… Greg. Greg… Daniel. Greg.
*Cheery, banjo music plays*

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