Hello little buns, it is Stef, welcome back to my home
Today I want to talk to you about something rather personal, as you can probably tell from the title
If you are new to my channel… Hi
This is not clickbait, you probably know that already
I want to put a disclaimer out here right now, before we get into anything
I’m talking alot about penises in this video. It gets slightly sexual, not in a way where i’m hitting on you
But in a way where I’m talking about sexual experiences
So if you are not comfortable watching that, or if you are underage even
You might want to consider not watching this video, you know what I’m saying?
Or just wear headphones or something, you know what-just be aware okay?
I am a transgender woman.
I am what we call ‘pre-operative’, sometimes we call it ‘non-operative’
What that means, um, well, non-operative means I have decided not to undergo sexual reassignment surgery
Which is commonly referred to as “the surgery for transgender people”
Or pre-operative means I have not yet undergone that surgery
I want to clarify right off the bat that there is a destinctive between “the surgery” and SRS
or sexual reassignment surgery
And the reason we call it sexual reassignment surgery and not a sex change
or “The surgery” is because there’s lots of surgeries, there’s lots of surgeries that transgender people might want to get
That may have nothing to do with the genitals
This one is its own thing so, SRS, not ‘the surgery’ okay?
Anyway, I have a dick, SHOCKER! I have a complicated relationship with my penis
What I want to do basically with this video is to kind of demistify the idea of women with penises.
And obviously very few people that are not transgender are going to be women with penises
Intersex people do exist. These are the people you grew up calling hermaphrodites
Which is not a word which is generally acceptable or accepted by intersex people
Intersex is the word you should be using when you want to refer to somebody born with something that might not be considered regular genitals
ok, I am not an intersex person, you should talk to intersex people, or listen to rather
intersex people if you want to learn more about their experiences.
But generally the only two people that are women with penises are
intersex people and transgender people so that’s kind of where we’re at, okay?
I struggle a lot with the hypersexualised vision of a ‘Chick with a dick’
or in pornography they’re often referred to as ‘shemales’
I hate that word,
let me get this to you right off the bat if you are somebody who appreciates
transgender women with penises if you think that’s hot,
I’m not gonna fight you over that but don’t call us ‘shemales’
or ‘trannies’ that is not a good word, ok, that’s not a cute word
We are transgender women, okay, if a transgender woman says she likes the word transsexuals instead,
call her that, fine but do not go around saying the word “shemale” “ladyboy” “tranny” “trap”
or any other variation of that kind of :
“Whaou it’s a chick AND THEN SUDDENLY SHE HAS A PENIS OH MY GOD A SHOCK!!”
Avoid those tropes, okay if you like us and if you want to date us stay away from from that language
okay it’s not nice. We don’t like it.
Some transgender women really hate their penises
Some transgender women cannot stand the sight of their genitalia from the time they’re very young
I do not have that hatred or that self loathing
But I do want SRS and the reasoning for me is..
I don’t hate my penis but I’m not comfortable with it,
it is in my way physically when I want to get dressed in the morning
It doesn’t work that well now that I’ve been on hormones for quite some time
For those of you that do not know, when a transgender person is transitioning
typically, not always, typically they will undergo something that is called hormone replacement therapy (HRT)
Which is where you replace the hormones that your body’s producing with the hormones that better suit your gender
So for me : estrogen
People with penises that have high amounts of estrogen in their body or that
replace the testosterone with estrogen
because I am inhibiting the testosterone and taking estrogen
When you take estrogen and you inhibit your testosterone
your body responds to touch differently
sex is a completely different ball game
than it was before I went on hormones so where I’m at right now is basically if I wanna get FRISKY
I’m a limp.. umm…
situation. Doesn’t mean I’m not enjoying myself!
Okay, it just means my penis responds to touch like a clitoris does
not like a penis
And that’s very frustrating, you know I probably should have already told you guys
This is going to be a rather lewd video
I’m talking about sex and penises
So uhhm, there you go, there’s your disclaimer, a little bit late but here you go
There is no shortage of heterosexual men who enjoy the company of transgender women
No because we are transgender but because we’re women and they like us
Not like us as transgender people but there are men who like people that happen to be trans
and that does not have any bearing on their sexuality, okay, if you are secure enough to
fornicate with a woman with a penis without questioning your sexuality, good for you,
you’re great, I like you, probably don’t wanna hook up with you because I don’t enjoy hookups
But, you’re on the good list, do you understand?
When I am with men like that, [loudly] when I’m with a guy!
Okay, when I’m with a guy! They seem to think that it still works the way theirs does
And they go for that whole like.. [loud claps]
You know.. eh.. [sigh]
It’s a lot like when cisgender women or girls, or trans girls with vaginas tell me about guys
that just fucking go for it like it’s some kind of whack-a-mole machine
It’s not, okay, and hormones alone change the way our genitals respond
because here’s a fact for you: penises and vaginas, ovaries and testo..testicles.. testosticles
They are made from the same thing, like they evolve from each other
like it’s kind of interchangeable, okay, that’s why it’s so easy to reconstruct the other kind of genital
It’s just like, it’s already pretty similar. So hormones really affect the way those genitals respond to touch.
Most people with a clitoris and most people that are high in estrogen
Are not going to enjoy you SLAMMING THEIR BODY WITH A HAMMER. Just a tip!
And I think a lot of people don’t understand how much hormones affect genitals
I don’t know. Here I’m gonna give you some more TMI, okay, but you know what
My whole life is broadcasted here so this is no different
Most people when they undergo hormone replacement therapy experience genital shrinkage
For, if they’re a transgender woman like me
My penis did shrink, quite a bit. I was small to begin with and I’m very happy about that
Because that means I have less stuff to worry about when I’m fitting into clothing
But it definitely got [jersey accent] smaller. [normal voice] And you know, that’s okay
You know, this is, okay, this is odd I wanted to make a very profound video about how I, I, I don’t hate my penis
And stuff but I didn’t script it, I probably should’ve scripted it
I think generally what I want you to understand is that that i’m not ashamed of having a penis
and I don’t think transgender women should be ashamed of having penises
I see a lot of, even, especially I see a lot of transgender women
hitting down other transgender women that are not ashamed of their genitals
And I’m not saying that you should not be ashamed of your genitals if it’s something that you experience dysphoria with
Because a lot of transgender people, like I said earlier, hate their genitals from a young age
and it’s not something that they can un-learn because it’s not something they learn to do in the first place
it’s biological. But I do not like it when women that aren’t ashamed of their genitals
or do not hate their genitals are put down for being shameless about them
I’m not saying that we should allow transgender women to walk around with obvious bulges because
that’s, you know what, men aren’t allowed to do that
Okay, I’m not saying that’s what we should be doing, okay
But lets say a transgender girl posts on her own Instagram a picture of her with a bulge
And she’s just being like fucking right, not like an erect.. penis.
Just like she’s just chilling in her Calvin Kleins and it’s just there, inside of her underwear.
The same as it would look on a dude, okay, I don’t think she should be demonized for that
Okay, that’s her body, that’s my body for example, I haven’t posted a picture like this
I’ve wanted to, to be honest, because I want to reclaim that part of my body
I’ve been working really hard to reclaim parts of my body that I’ve been told are not good.
Or not right, and I don’t think anybody should be told that their body is not right.
There’s a difference between having gender dysphoria and feeling ugly
because of somebody telling you you are
Okay, and I want to encourage transgender women who do not experience dysphoria
with whatever body part, whether that be parts of their face or their body or their genitals
I want to encourage you to celebrate those parts of your body and to share your love
for yourself, because there is way too much with women in general and even just people in general
Okay, of all genders, way too much “I need to do this” or “I need to get here”
Instead of “look where I am” and I think we should be able to be saying “look where I am,
look how happy I am, look how comfortable I am.”
Because that inspires other people who are similar to you to feel comfortable like you
So if you feel that strength with your penis, tell the world
At an appropriate time and space. I know this has been all over the place
So if you’re having trouble understanding, let me recap for you:
As a transgender woman who has not yet undergone sexual reassignment surgery, I have a penis.
I do not hate my penis, I’m indifferent about it, it’s more of a nuisance that is a hatred
For me. That is my experience.
So I’m not ashamed of having a penis which is why i’m probably talking about so publicly
But my message for you even if you’re not a transgender woman,
even if you’re not a woman with a penis
or “chick with a dick”
is, if there is a part of your body that you’ve been told to hate,
but you don’t hate,
Don’t hate it.
I know that is way easier said than done,
But think about, something about your body that you dislike
Why do you dislike it?
Is it because somebody told you that you are supposed to?
It’s not as simple as understanding that and then [snaps] you like it again
It’s a process.
But I know if you are aware of it,
I know if you are aware of a bodypart that you like, but you’ve been taught to hate,
If you are aware of it, I know you can come back around
and fall back in love with that bodypart <3
..or even a personality-trait, you know what I mean, anything like that
Unless it is directly harming somebody
personality-traits are a little bit different from like, body.. parts.
And I just wanted to share that message,
..Through my penis.
That is not the proper way to say that, how can I say this..
Oh my god, lord have mercy.
There better not be any children watching this.
I would like to know, I would like [mumbles] OH my gosh! Okay!
I would like to hear from you,
if there is any bodypart of yours that you’ve been taught to hate, but you don’t
I wanna know what it is, and I wanna know, you know, your experience
And I think in the comments, we can create a constructive space
where we can help each other learn to love our bodies,
especially the parts that we’ve been told are not good enough,
or are not right. Because they are, okay?
If you’re born with it it’s probably okay
This brings to conclusions my..
No, this brings the conclusion my rant
from all over the place I guess.
I just wanted to talk about this and I know
what I talk about thoughts I’m having
even if i can’t quite get it out properly,
even if I don’t fully understand what I want to say,
I know when I talk to you guys about it I learn from you
and I feel better, I feel like I’ve let go of something.
So that’s really what this is about okay?
And I want you to let go of something too, so like I said, in the comments, let’s have a conversation.
I love you SO much. Until next time, just remember:
Perfect the way you were born,
If there is something you’ve been taught to hate, I hope you can learn to love it
If there is something about your body that makes you uncomfortable in a way that you can not control,
that’s different, I’ve been there,
I’ve had surgery to correct things like that,
So I am not saying that you should feel guilty for having those feelings,
But I think there is a difference between things like that and things that you’ve been taught to hate.
So, you are capable of loving anything that you’ve been taught you shouldn’t.
Oh my gosh, I don’t know [mumbles] I don’t know.
Anyway, I love you so much BYE! <3
[kisses to you, lovely person]
I be crazy about ingredients, because they are interesting! Hi #breadsquad! I know this is fairly uncharted territory for YouTube videos, but that’s a pretty good reason to start a dialogue! Let me know in the comments if there’s a part of your body you’ve been taught to hate, but wouldn’t have. It’s more common than you think! Love you! Being a Guy With a Vagina: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yGrXM9v2JLQ&feature=youtu.be&a My vlogging channel: tinyurl.com/stefsanjativlogs I broadcast on YouNow! : https://www.younow.com/StefSanjati For business inquiries, email : [email protected] Find me elsewhere on the webs! https://www.facebook.com/stefsanjati http://instagram.com/stef.sanjati (@stef.sanjati) http://stefsanjati.tumblr.com https://twitter.com/stefsanjati (@stefsanjati) Snapchat: ssanjati P.O. Box: P.O Box 47090 10 Dundas St E Toronto, ON M5B0A1
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