HOW TO NOT PISS OFF ASIAN PEOPLE

– Hi, I’m Mari Takahashi.
– I am Olivia Sui.
– BOTH: We are not
the same person.
– We’re tired
of people confusing us.
– But instead of getting mad,
we’re here to help.
– By giving you guys
the simple dos and don’ts for…
– BOTH: How to not
piss off Asian people.
– First,
let’s talk about greetings.
– You might not know
how to pronounce our names.
– So, do just ask.
– It’s weird for everyone
when you try
and say our names
and then butcher them.
– So, is it Olivia Soo-wai,
[buzzer]
or Soo-wee,
[buzzer]
or, uh, Soo-eye?
[buzzer]
– Sui.
[ding]
– Oh.
– Okay, so, Mari Te-catch-a-he.
– Close. Ta-ka-ha-shi.
It’s phonetic.
– Well,
you said it was Japanese.
– Zjhoon.
Zhjay-woonah?
Juh-zjuhn-joon.
– No, it’s John.
– What?
We have the same name!
Am I Asian?
Aw, I knew I was Asian!
Dude!
Wha-ah!
Dude, Jared!
I’m Asian, man!
– Don’t fetishize Asian women.
Don’t call it “Yellow Fever.”
– Yeah, why does it
have to be a disease?
There is nothing sexy
about diseases.
– What about…
[sexily]: Malaria.
– Hmm,
I guess diseases are sexy.
[sexily]: Chronic obstructive
pulmonary disease.
Emphysema.
Gonorrhea.
– Nope.
– Don’t pander to us.
– And don’t try to one-up
our Asian-ness.
– Oh, that’s right.
You’re Japanese.
– Yeah!
– Oh my God,
I went to Japan once.
– Oh, no way!
– Yes.
– My uncle, he actually–
– And I love anime, like,
so much.
Like, oh my God, like,
こんにちは! (konnichiwa)
[giggles]
Like, the best, right?
– Mm-hmm.
– Anyways,
さようなら. (sayonara)
– Do know that there are
a lot more countries in Asia
other than,
China, Japan, Korea.
– For example, India,
right, Monica?
– Huh?
[plop]
– On that note,
don’t assume that
we’re all from
the same country either.
– Not all Asians
are the same.
– You’d actually probably
really like my friend.
– Oh?
– Yeah, she’s Korean.
I mean, you might even
know her already.
– I don’t know
every Asian person.
– Her name’s Sarah Kim.
– Oh. I do know her.
– And?
– I like her.
– Oh.
– If you’re making a movie
about Asian people,
don’t cast a white person
to play an Asian.
– Cast me.
– Or me!
– Or me!
[crash]
– OLIVIA: Please leave.
– Uh-uh.
– Why?
But I, you know, I can
こんにちは, I can do it.
[mumbling]
All right. Cool. Bye!
– Bye, forever.
– Don’t assume
we’re all good at math.
– Yeah, that’s stereotyping.
– 18% of half of $51 is–
– $4.59.
[ding]
Damn it!
– Don’t assume
we all know karate.
– Yeah, that’s stereotyping.
[grunts]
Ow, ow, ow.
– What was that?
– I thought the karate’s
inside me.
– What? No!
You have math.
We get one!
– What do you have?
– A sh*t ton of cute
backpacks!
[kawaii music]
[girl speaking Japanese]
– That’s a lot of dopes.
– Yeah, do you think
it sounds too negative?
– Maybe,
and we’re generalizing a lot,
which is the exact thing
we don’t want people to do.
– Right, so I guess
if you want to
not piss off Asian people,
don’t be an asshole.
– Or like, overall,
don’t be an asshole.
– BOTH:
Don’t be an asshole.
[kawaii music]
– GIRL: Hey!
– COURTNEY: Wow, I love
this video. And Asians!
Hey, if you want to watch
“One Letter Off Kids Shows,”
tap that box on the left.
Or if you want to see
more of Mari,
tap that box on the right
for “Smosh Pit Weekly.”
It’s back every Saturday,
baby!

This is one Super Horny Asian. Mari Takahashi and Olivia Sui are two different people who have some advice for you! CAST Ian Hecox Noah Grossman Courtney Miller Olivia Sui Shayne Topp Mari Takahashi Monica Vasandani Max Song CREW Directed by: Sunny Peabody Written by: Monica Vasandani, Olivia Sui, Mari Takahashi, Ryan Finnerty Produced by Ryan Todd Smosh Co-Founded by Ian Hecox & Anthony Padilla Smosh Creative Director: Joe Bereta Director of Photography: Billy Yates Editor: Victor DosSantos, Katy Dolle Senior Producer: Alex Hluch Line Producer: Michelle Holman Associate Producer: Rebecca Doyle, Garrett Palm Production Manager: Andy Garwig First Assistant Director: Garrett Palm Production Designer: Tayler Nicholson Art Assist: Steven Smyka Camera: Brennan Iketani Assistant Camera: Nick Goto Gaffer: Nick Giomuso Key Grip: Justin Thatcher Sound: Ivan Harder Hair & Makeup: Rachel Jenkins Wardrobe: Cassidy Combs DIT/Media Management: Taylor Cutler Script Supervisor: Talia Brahms Assistant Editor: Matt Duran Behind-the-Scenes: Phil Mohr, Pat Egan Post-Production Supervisor: Reed Brice Colorist: Mike Burton Production Assistant: Jake Sperling