Dance Flick Unrated Edition

(DROP PLAYING)
♪ Wiggle a bit, stop, drop
♪ Get up, snake, freak, whop
♪ Wiggle a bit, stop, drop
♪ Get up, snake, freak, whop
♪ Wiggle a bit, stop, drop
♪ Get up, snake, freak, whop
♪ Wiggle a bit, stop, drop
♪ Get up, snake, freak, whop
♪ Wiggle a bit, stop, drop
♪ Get up, snake, freak, whop
♪ Fat Man Scoop,
Crooklyn Clan
♪ Timbaland, Timbaland
♪ Fat Man Scoop,
Crooklyn Clan
♪ Timbaland, Timbaland
♪ Whatever I say,
y’all gotta do
Yeah, come on!
(CROWD WHOOPING)
♪ Y’all too, y’all too,
y’all too, y’all too
♪ Aw, Lord, guess who’s coming
♪ Timbaland A.K.A
freaky Phil Drummond
♪ Who can get it crunk
like me Timbaland
♪ Oh, my nigga
Scoop A.K.A fat man
♪ Weed guaranteed to make
the party people bounce
Get off me!
♪ Lookin’ at the cornrows
up in the club
♪ Girl, don’t be bashful,
girl, back it up
♪ Throw it, girl,
like it’s poking, man
Get back!
(EXCLAIMS)
(EXCLAIMS)
(CROWD CHEERING)
In your face.
He’s trying…
♪ Now drop, now drop,
now drop, now drop
♪ If you got the fattest ass
on the block, now drop
♪ Let a nigga see
the coochie pop, now drop
You know
you like it!
Right here!
♪ Real eyes
down south thighs,
now drop
♪ Waist line
five six seven,
now drop
♪ One time
all in together,
now drop
(CREW EXCLAIMING)
Whatever.
CREW: Do it! Do it!
Do it! Do it!
(WHIRRING)
♪ Before we start
to turn it out
♪ You must first begin to
THOMAS: Your turn, go.
A-CON: Do it!
♪ Breathe in, breathe out
♪ Breathe in, breathe out
♪ Now drop, now drop,
now drop, now drop ♪
Go, go, go,
go, go, go!
Look at him!
CROWD: Drill! Drill! Drill!
(CROWD CHEERING LOUDLY)
Where’d he go?
Yo!
THOMAS: Wait, wait! Wait!
Stop! Stop it! Stop it!
Stop that! Stop that!
(MUSIC STOPS)
Stop that!
Hey, hey, this is my house!
This is my house!
We not gonna
have that here.
Now, we got a tie.
What?
ALL: What?
That’s right.
The baddest
two crews are left.
And I’m talking bad.
Super bad.
I’m talking Wesley Snipes
don’t pay his taxes bad.
We talking T.I.
buying machine guns bad.
We talking everything
on the CW bad.
Yeah.
Now, the only way
to settle this
is a rematch.
(CROWD GROANING)
That’s right, that’s right.
So, what y’all gonna do?
Let’s do it.
No, wait.
Y’all go on over there
and talk about it.
Go talk about it,
talk about it.
Sugar Bear is gonna kill us
if we lose his money.
Come on, Thomas,
we can take
these fools, man.
All we need is
for D to do
his signature move.
No, I’m not sure
that’s a good idea.
He can’t,
it’s too dangerous.
I don’t care
about that, man.
D’s gonna do it.
But he could break his neck
and be crippled forever.
D don’t care about that,
man. All right, he gonna
take one for the team.
But like a hundred
million Americans, D
doesn’t have insurance.
Yeah, he’s right, I don’t.
Yo, man,
he’s doing the move
and that’s final.
I want this.
Exactly. You want this.
Look, man, there ain’t
no “I” in “team.”
There ain’t?
No.
What about “group”?
Not in “group,” either.
Crew?
No.
Troupe? Gang?
No.
Einsemble?
You just mispronounced that word
to make it sound like
it had an “I” in it.
Yo, forget about
all that, man.
Let’s do it.
But, guys!
Stay out of your business, D!
Come on, man!
So, what y’all gonna do?
Double or nothing,
$5,000.
(CROWD CHEERING)
Now, well,
put the money
in the hat.
(ALL GASPING)
(EXCLAIMS)
Oh, well,
cat’s out the bag.
You heard the man,
$3,000.
(CHUCKLES) Did I say three?
I meant $5,000!
Now, what you gonna do?
We in.
Oh, yeah,
we got us a battle now.
Show them some love!
That’s right, these young men
are gonna be battling it out
for $7,000 in cash!
$10,000.
And one of my
loud-ass suits from my
loud-ass suit collection,
comes in a variety
of ghetto colors,
Flavor Flava eyes yellow,
Kool-Aid red, ashy gray
and for weddings
and funerals,
Djimon Hounsou black.
Y’all ready to do this?
Well, let’s get it on.
(HIP-HOP SONG PLAYING)
Yo, this dude is whack.
Why everybody going crazy
over him?
He’s the director,
and your cousin.
Anything he do is fine.
Yeah, it’s my movie!
It’s all you, D.
Look at this dude.
CREW: One, two, three,
four, five, six,
seven, eight!
That money is ours!
All right!
All right!
Yo. Give me the oil,
give me the oil.
(SCREAMING)
(CREW LAUGHING)
(SHOUTS)
(GROANING)
(BRAKES SCREECHING)
(SCREAMING)
(SCREAMING)
What’s up, man?
What’s up?
(CONTINUES SCREAMING)
(CONTINUES SCREAMING)
(CROWD EXCLAIMING)
Oh, no!
(SCREAMING)
(THUDDING)
(SCREAMS)
Looks like
we got us a winner!
The 409 Crew it is!
Yeah!
(INAUDIBLE)
(HONKING)
Excuse me.
Is this seat taken?
Oh, no, not at all.
Good.
Come on, kids,
it’s empty!
(CHILDREN CHUCKLING)
(THUDS)
(GROANS)
There we go.
Mmm-mmm.
(CHUCKLES)
(SHRIEKS)
You want some chicken?
No, thank you.
(WHOOPS)
I love the ballet.
Never had
the body for it, though.
That’s why I chose football.
That’s me when I was nine.
(CHUCKLING)
You dance?
I used to.
When I lived
in the suburbs.
(CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING)
Megan, honey,
you hungry?
Hey, Megan,
will you help me
with my home…
Special delivery
for Megan…
(THUDDING)
GLYNN: Megan, honey,
we’re really busy.
But, Mom, you promised.
I know, sweetie, but
it’s about to start raining,
and I need to fix the brakes,
and I have to drop off
the life insurance check.
This is the biggest day
of my life.
All right, sweetie.
You’re the best, Mom.
(CHUCKLES)
Don’t you worry.
I won’t let you down.
I’ll make it to that audition if
it is the last thing I do.
(IN DEEP VOICE)
You’re gonna die, bitch.
(EXCLAIMS)
(BRAKES SCREECHING)
(SCREAMING)
(TIRES SCREECHING)
(CRASHING)
(GRUNTING)
Oh, no! Oh, my God!
Help me! Please!
WOMAN 1: Over there,
over there, hurry!
Oh, thank God!
WOMAN 2: Free gas!
MAN: Yeah, baby! Premium!
Wait, people!
Where’s everyone going?
We’ve hit the jackpot!
Get me some gas.
(SIREN WAILING)
We need something
to put it in!
Help me!
My seatbelt is jammed!
Oh, please, help me!
In here,
somebody give me a hand!
I was on the way to
my daughter’s audition.
Okay, miss, I need you
to lift up and swing your
body towards me, okay?
Okay. Please, hurry!
I can’t get it.
I can see it. Almost!
Got it! I got it!
(ALL CHEERING)
What the hell!
Miss White,
is there anything
you would like to share
before you begin?
Well, I think
my thighs look really
fat in this outfit.
Valtrex does not work.
I have no gag reflex.
I meant
about your routine.
Oh. Uh…
Well, nothing other than
it’s something that my
grandfather helped me with.
This should be good.
(SUPER FREAK PLAYING)
♪ She’s a very kinky girl
♪ The kind you don’t
take home to mother
♪ She will never
let your spirits down
♪ Once you get her
off the street
♪ Ow, girl
(PANTING)
Oh, my God.
I’m okay.
Thanks, you guys.
It’s just a few
cuts and bruises.
Don’t worry about me.
I’m just gonna get a lift.
(GLYNN SCREAMING)
(GRUNTS)
Don’t worry, baby.
I’ll get there
even if it kills me.
Not even Brandy
can stop me.
(SCREAMING)
Oh, shit, not again.
(SCREAMING)
(THUDS)
♪ She’s a super freak,
super freak,
♪ She’s super-freaky ♪
Yeah! I’m Rick James,
bitch!
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
Yeah, okay.
Yes, I’ll find a way
to tell her gently.
Your mother died, and,
no, you didn’t get in.
What?
Next!
(CRYING) You mean,
my audition wasn’t
good enough?
(WAILING HYSTERICALLY)
I ain’t asked you all that.
Come on, kids,
let’s move away from
this long-winded ho.
Come on, babies.
Goodness.
(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)
(LAUGHING EVILLY)
Well, if it isn’t
my two dancing
delivery boys.
Where’s the other Musketeer?
He died in a tragic
dance accident.
I’m talking about
my chocolate bar,
bitch!
Don’t get cute.
I got it right here,
Sugar Bear.
It’s all good.
Now, I told y’all two,
when I gave you that loan,
that I’m gonna need
my piece of the pie.
I got it right here.
Pumpkin pie.
I ain’t gonna
sugarcoat this.
Yeah, I is.
I heard
about you two fools
getting served
at that dance battle.
But I like you two,
so I’m gonna give you
a chance to make things right.
I’m gonna give you
till the end of next week
to bring me my chips.
But if I don’t get them
by then,
we all gonna
be crying over spilt milk.
(WHOOPS) Spilt milk
and crumbled cookies.
Now get out!
(GASPS)
Somebody get me a fork.
Who back there?
(HONKING)
MAN ON PA: The Suburban
Express has arrived in
the ghetto on track two.
Dad?
Megan.
Hi.
Hi. So, you got
a lot of baggage?
Well, you left me
when I was 10,
Mom is dead.
I haven’t had a decent date
in a year because
of my low self-esteem…
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Honey.
I’m talking
about your luggage.
Oh.
Yeah, well,
it’s over there.
MAN ON PA: Keep the platform
clear of all luggage, guns
and knives.
Oh.
Okay. Now, look,
I’ll grab this.
You grab the rest.
I’m double parked.
(EXHALES)
Home, sweet home.
WOMAN:
I don’t wanna talk to you!
Come on, honey,
I’ll give you
the grand tour.
MAN: I’ll kill you, bitch!
RON: (CHUCKLES)
Isn’t it beautiful?
Isn’t it great?
Now, listen, sweetheart,
I know this may not
be what you’re used to,
but I got a perfect spot
picked out for you.
What do you think?
(ELECTRICITY BUZZING)
(SCREAMING)
(ELECTRICITY POPPING)
Yeah, I know, it’s a little
out in the open,
but I got a little work
to do on it.
It’s gonna be great.
I promise you, honey.
When I’m done,
it’s gonna be perfect.
(GROANING)
(SIGHS)
This just won’t do.
(CHANTING)
(SQUEALING)
(CAT MEOWING)
(COOING)
Ooh!
Hey.
Well,
all right, everybody.
Let’s get this place
cleaned up.
Mr. Crackhead.
Have fun.
(CRASH)
(CAT SQUEALS)
♪ Grab a brush
♪ Grab a broom
♪ Grab a mop
and bucket
♪ Come on, everybody,
and we’ll scrub
♪ Scrub, scrub
(CHANTING)
Clean up your own
shit, eh?
Kiss my furry a-hole.
This bitch can’t sing.
I’m outta here.
Word.
(SCREAMS)
(STUDENTS BEATBOXING)
BOY: ♪ I shot him it was
at a quarter to 1:00
♪ Nobody was there
so I didn’t run
♪ It was 2007, October 1
♪ Under my bed
is where I hid the gun ♪
Man, you killed it.
You’re under arrest for murder.
What you talking about, man?
I didn’t…
I didn’t even do nothing.
Got your confession
on tape.
♪ I shot him, it was
at a quarter to 1:00 ♪
Man, that wasn’t
even me, man.
He hid the gun
under the bed.
Hey, what up, dog?
What up, man?
Chillin’.
So, what’s up, man?
You going back to school?
Are you serious, man?
All these losers running
around with hopes and dreams.
Teachers want you
to better yourself?
No, man, give me prison
any day, man.
Yeah, totally don’t
agree with you.
So, what are you
gonna do?
Come on, man, the judge say
it’s either school or juvie.
I’m only one crime away
from going back.
I’m excited, man.
Kickball, arts and crafts,
showers.
Yo, I’m about to go
to the bank, man.
Cool, you gonna
make a deposit?
Nah. Withdrawl.
Tell your mom
I be by later
for some pie.
Okay.
(SLURPING)
Ray? I ain’t gonna
beat around the bush
with you.
You blind, son.
Ain’t no easy way
to say you’re a blind
little bastard.
I know, Mamma.
Nobody gonna have pity
’cause you blind.
Now, wipe them tears.
These ain’t tears, Mamma.
These is eye boogers.
Then blow your eyes!
Now, I done showed you
how to do things once.
But now you’re on your own.
But you remember, you blind,
not stupid.
Okay, Mamma.
(SCREAMING)
Just get out the car,
you stupid,
blind son-of-a-bitch!
(GRUNTS)
Ray?
Yes, Mamma?
You know how many steps
it takes to get
to the school, right?
Yes, Mamma. I also remember
how many licks it takes
to get to the center
of a Tootsie Pop.
Just take your stupid,
blind ass on.
Yes, Mamma.
One, two, three!
(THUDDING)
Now, contrary to rumor,
my door is always open,
from 5:00 to 5:05 p.m.
At which point
I usually take
my three-hour lunch.
So, if you miss me,
you can catch me
every other Tuesday,
of every other leap year,
from 4:45 a.m. to 4:47 a.m.
So just know I’m here
to give you kids
some guidance.
Bobby! What are you
doing writing on that
wall with a marker?
Use this spray paint.
Don’t you want people to
be able to see your work?
Oh, yeah, let me try that.
Damn fool.
Come on, blondie, pick up
the pace. I’m getting
my wig rotated at 11:00.
Johnny!
Take that condom off!
You know you can’t feel
anything with it on!
You right.
These damn kids today
don’t even know
how to get low.
Okay, here we are.
Here’s your locker and
here’s your combination.
Now, do you have
any questions
or concerns?
Well, I do have
a few concerns.
It’s kind of
a pressing matter,
but I know you don’t
have much time.
She’s good.
MAN ON PA:
Jimmy Hopper, please come
to the principal’s office.
Jimmy Hopper.
Girl, don’t be leaving
your bag on the floor.
It’s like giving it to charity.
Hi, I’m Charity.
I’m Megan.
Oh, are you a dancer?
I used to be.
Yeah, me, too.
Until I had my baby.
(HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING)
ALL: (CHANTING)
Get busy! Go, Charity!
Get busy! Go, Charity! Get busy!
Go, Charity! Get busy!
Go, Charity! Get busy!
Go, Charity!
Go! Go! Go!
(CHANTING CONTINUES)
(SCREAMING)
(POPS)
Oh, my God!
You bring your baby
to school with you?
Hell, yeah!
I am a good mother, okay?
You can’t just be
leaving your baby
with anybody.
These nannies be beating
on your children like LAPD.
I keep him with me because
that way I know that he is
safe and sound.
You know what
I’m talking about?
You can’t just be
leaving your kid
with anybody.
These people out here
be crazy, neglecting
their children. Okay.
All right, boo boo,
you remember to breathe
through the vents
and Mommy
loves you, punkin!
(WHIMPERS)
(CHATTERING)
(GIGGLES) Hey, Jack.
Hey, Tracy.
I was wondering if you
have a dance partner
for the senior showcase,
’cause I was thinking
we could be partners.
There’s this really
romantic scene
in Romeo and Juliet.
That’s great.
I’ve always wanted
to play that part.
(SIGHS) You’ll be
a great Romeo.
I’m not talking
about Romeo.
(GIGGLING)
You’re so funny.
(SCHOOL BELL RINGING)
(ENUNCIATING)
“Delighted that he was fat
Delighted that he was old
“No doubt in the world
about that
“Delighted that he had gold”
ALL: How now, brown cow.
Scene.
An actor prepares.
Acting, people,
is action and reaction.
Oh, shit!
Yes, son, yes!
Yes, that is truth!
You don’t know me.
I see murder in your eyes.
Yes, that’s good, son.
You need an agent.
You are excellent.
Now, what will
you do to act?
What are you willing
to sacrifice
for your art, son? Yes?
Are you willing to die for it?
Are you willing to cry for it?
Are you willing to lose
your manhood for it?
(STUDENTS EXCLAIM)
(EXHALES)
No? You, get out of my class,
get out of my class!
You call yourself
an actor? Get out!
Damn it, I gave up
my manhood
twice.
Yes, it hurt. I bled.
But I got five weeks’ work
on a non-union student film.
Now, class,
there are 50,000 people
who have the audacity
to call themselves actors.
Yeah, like Jessica Simpson.
Yes, like Jessica Simpson.
Did any of you guys see
Employee of the Month?
Refund, please!
(ALL LAUGHING)
That Dane Cook
makes me do this.
Well, I kind of like
that movie. I thought
she did a really good job.
I saw it four times.
Yeah, I guess
I’d rather
see her act than
ruin the Cowboys’
chances of ever
winning the Super Bowl.
(CROWD EXCLAIMING)
(LAUGHING)
It seems as though
we have a debate
going on here.
THOMAS: How about
those mom jeans?
Irregardless of what you may
think of Miss Simpson,
she is a success story.
Of the 50,000 people
that call themselves actors,
there’s only
500 working actors.
Of that 500,
most of them are white.
There are a few roles
for black people,
but those roles are usually
for the Wayans brothers.
We must all, in our lives
and in our craft,
have one thing.
Dignity. Yes, dignity.
Well, I remember one time,
they offered me a role
in a despicable, disgusting,
stereotypical racist movie.
Do you know
what I told them?
Yes, Miss White?
You turned it down.
(STUDENTS GASPING)
Hell, no! I took that money!
But I did it with dignity.
Let us watch.
Boy, you ain’t picking
that cotton fast enough.
Oh, Massa, no!
I be’s the best
cotton-picking picaninny
this side of Jubilee.
Yes, sir,
I’s a cotton-picking fool!
They call me Lightning Jack.
See, I just love
picking me some cotton.
Boy, you lie talking me?
Massa, I’s be here forever.
I cuts my own foot off, sir,
to show my love to you.
(SCREAMING)
I love me some massa.
No, Massa. No!
(WHISPERS) Integrity.
Attention, ladies!
Everybody take your place.
I am your dance instructor,
Ms. Cameltoe.
(MEGAN GASPS)
Now, I’m sure most of you
have heard
that I have a huge count…
(COUGHS)
Excuse me,
country music collection,
but that’s irrelevant.
I have one interest
here today,
and that one interest
is dance.
I wanna see you dance
and I wanna see you smile.
Understood?
(GASPS)
I barely saw you there.
You look like a needle.
You look like a gutted worm.
You look like the number 11.
What are you,
Mary-Kate or Ashley?
(SOBBING)
I’ve inserted tampons bigger!
I don’t teach by the pound.
You, shave it!
What do you think this is,
Busch Gardens? Trim it!
Flatten it.
Look who freed Willy!
Whale spotting!
Grecian tanker!
You’ve got more chins
than a Chinese phone book.
How about some butter
for those rolls?
We do the mashed
potato here,
we don’t
eat the mashed potato.
Please. You gonna
keep the baby?
I hope so.
And what’s your situation?
Did you grow up next
to a nuclear power plant?
You look
like you were yanked
through a closed door.
You know,
you’re never gonna make it
as a dancer, Sister Sledge.
If I were you,
I’d kill myself.
(GASPING) My life is over!
GIRLS: Oh, my God!
It was a metaphor!
Girls, if you wanna
have a successful
senior showcase,
you’re gonna have
to step it up.
Nora, show them
how it’s done.
Be a tree.
A cloud.
An earthworm.
An acorn.
(WHISPERING) Wow, she’s amazing.
CAMELTOE: A pair of lips.
(WHISPERING) That’s Nora,
she’s a triple threat.
She acts, sings, and dances.
You’re a cup of coffee.
She’s won every
competition out there.
Excellent, Nora,
excellent!
Perfect, perfect, perfect.
Brilliant, A-plus!
Now, for the rest
of you cows,
I want you to follow me over
here to the balance beam.
All right, that’s good,
Jack, that’s good.
Now, take it to the right.
Take it to the right.
Now the left, come on!
All right, now
bring it up the middle.
Let’s go, come on.
Whoa! Whoa!
Jeez, give me that.
You have got to take
your ball and drive it
hard into your opponent!
And I mean drive it
long and hard.
Let’s go again.
Dad, can I ask you
a question?
Yeah, shoot.
Did you ever wanna
try something new
but were afraid of
what your friends
might think?
(CHUCKLES) What,
like bonking a hooker?
Nothing wrong with that.
Your first time should
be special.
No, that’s not
what I mean.
Did you ever wanna
try something other
than basketball?
Like having a strong man
pin you down?
His hot breath breathing
down your neck as you
struggle to the ground…
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
I know what
you’re getting at.
If you wanna
join the wrestling team,
you have my full support.
Now, remember,
we got basketball practice
this afternoon, huh?
Lady-killer.
(CHUCKLES)
(GIRLS GIGGLE)
Excuse me!
This is the dancers’ table,
and from what I understand,
you no longer dance.
(LAUGHS)
Damn, Nora,
you are so mean.
Not mean. Just real.
Come on.
Don’t worry about Nora.
She is all bark and no bite.
Besides,
those are the rich bitches,
and you don’t wanna
sit with them anyway.
Now, this is us,
right over here.
Holla, holla,
holla, holla!
Now, these are my roll dogs.
This is Uglisha
and what’s her name.
Hey, girl!
Hey, girl!
Wait, you don’t know
her name?
I thought
they were your friends.
No, no, girl. I didn’t say
they were my friends.
I said I roll with them.
You see, I hang out
with them because they
make me look better.
Now, what would I be
doing being friends
with a bitch with a keloid
and some run-over shoes?
Look at her shoes.
(LAUGHS) They tragic. God.
Uno!
What an asshole.
Who, girl?
‘Cause you know in this school
you got to be more specific.
Him.
You talking about
the corny brother
with the Cosby sweater
and the Dumbo ears?
Yeah. The one with
the dried lips, big forehead,
and ashy knuckles?
That’s my brother.
Oh.
No, I wasn’t talking
about him. Him.
I don’t usually do it.
Cousin.
(CLEARS THROAT) Him.
Yo, really?
Nephew.
I’m really sorry.
I don’t mean
to offend you…
Oh, girl,
I’m just messing with you!
(GIRLS LAUGHING)
She got you, girl.
She got you good.
Yeah, she’s like, “I’m
surrounded by black girls.
Backpedal, backpedal.”
I think
she’s sweating Tang.
She’s so crazy.
Scared me.
They like my little minions,
you see?
Yeah. It’s fun…
(PLAYING IN TUNE)
(PLAYING IN TUNE)
(PLAYING IN TUNE)
Come on, guys! Yeah!
All right.
(STUDENTS CHEERING)
♪ Baby, look at me
♪ I’m just an average teen
♪ In gym class
I watch you undress
(BOYS LAUGHING)
♪ It’s no secret that fashion
is my interest
♪ I got something in me
♪ I’m gonna set it free
♪ I’m Lance from ‘N Sync’s
number one fan
♪ Don’t you know I love Bass
♪ Now you know that I’m gay
ALL: ♪ Flame
JACK: ♪ I’ll be gay forever
♪ I will always love guys
ALL: ♪ Guys
♪ I’ll wear chaps
made of leather
♪ Do you think
Tom Cruise is bi?
ALL: ♪ Gay
♪ Brokeback Mountain
was heaven
♪ Is Ryan Seacrest straight?
ALL: ♪ Flame
JACK: ♪ I’m gonna
love men forever
♪ Baby, remember,
I’m gay
ALL:
♪ Remember, he’s a member
♪ Remember, he’s a member
♪ Remember, he’s a member
♪ I’m gay
(EXCLAIMS)
♪ Remember, I’m gay
♪ Gay! ♪
One of you lucky boys
is gonna be my partner
in the big showcase.
Now let’s get started.
You.
Go get her.
(GRUNTING)
(SNICKERS)
Next!
Yeah,
you better be smiling.
Stop shaking.
(WHIMPERS)
Man up, dude! Come on, guys,
I weigh exactly 97.2 pounds.
I had one grape
this morning, one!
BOY 1: We’re out of here.
Guys, no! Don’t go!
BOY 2: Save it, lard ass.
(SIGHS)
My life is over.
I’ll do it.
Do what?
Whatever it is
y’all trying to do.
You think you can lift me?
Shit, I could lift you.
Wait.
(NORA FARTING)
Now what?
You take your half boner off me.
My bad.
Now put me down.
All right.
(SCREAMS)
(CRASHING)
Damn,
I think I broke a nail.
So, we going to Club Violence
tonight. It’s a hip-hop club.
You should come.
Yeah, sure.
Are you 21?
No. I’m in high school.
So, what are you saying?
I’m stupid ’cause I’m 21
and still in high school?
No, no, no,
not at all.
Yo, A-Con, Megan needs
a hook-up on an ID
for Club Violence tonight.
Word. Give me $50.
For what?
So I can get you
some ID for $20.
You know Club Violence
ain’t no square dance,
right?
That’s all right.
I’ll dance in circles,
probably around you.
(EXCLAIMS)
Snap!
She gonna roll around you, fam!
All right.
She gonna roll
around you.
(LAUGHS) All right,
girl, let’s roll.
I think mami
feeling you, fam.
She probably
got friends, too.
Oh, no, I’m good, B.
I need me a Queen Latifah
type chick.
Corn rows and broad shoulders,
you know what I mean?
So, if I get jumped,
she knocking everybody out.
(BUZZING)
CHARITY: Yo, up here!
Hey, girl.
Hey, girl!
(GASPING)
(GIGGLES)
Come back in here,
you little brat!
Quit playing around!
I’ll be right down,
Megan.
Hey, girl!
Hey!
Are we stopping
somewhere first?
No. Why?
Do you need to
stop somewhere?
No, I was just wondering,
is he coming to the club
with us?
Yeah. Why? Is there a problem?
No. Not at all.
(CHUCKLING) Okay,
then, let’s roll.
Come on.
You are going to love
Club Violence. All the big
ballers get shot there.
Speaking of which,
you gonna need this.
It’s your ID.
Oh, my God,
her hair is horrible.
She has buckteeth, a lazy eye,
and needs to wax that unibrow.
Who is this?
That’s you!
Oh.
You’re right.
Come on.
Hey, Uglisha!
Hey, Keloid!
Hey, girl!
Hey, girl!
Charity,
can I ask you something?
Sure, what is it?
(WHISPERING)
How do I look?
Uh-uh.
Girl. You ain’t going
nowhere with me
looking like that. Hold on.
Uglisha, let us use
your car right fast.
No, but I can’t let…
But nothing!
We ain’t going nowhere,
we just wanna sit in it.
(SNICKERS)
Nobody trying to take
your beat-up bucket.
(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
Anyway, come on,
let’s go. Get…
I thought…
Just get in,
hurry, hurry up.
You, hold this.
All right, here we go.
First,
you need to take off
that sorry ass coat,
’cause it’s country,
and you look country
in it.
Take off
those whack ass earrings,
’cause those are played.
And those shoes
they’ve got to go.
Come on, hurry up. All right.
Now, put this on.
And take
a little bit of this
and some of that.
Now, you are good to go, girl.
You look good. You ready.
Yo, check it.
(BOTH GASPING)
What it do, shorty?
Damn!
Girl, you looking good now.
Let’s bounce, girl.
Not y’all.
(HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING)
Yo, what up, A-Con?
Yo, what up, fam, you good?
Chilling.
All right. Dude.
Oh, hell, no. Con.
Got some girls coming
to the after party.
No doubt,
I’ll bring the condoms,
B, I got you.
Yeah, I’ll be there, man.
You ain’t invited.
Cool, I’ll bring the chips.
GIRL: Hey, A-Con.
How you doing, love?
Love, you good?
Good, looking good.
You’re looking better.
Thank you.
What up, ma?
Get out of here!
Sorry, I’m taken.
(GIRLS GIGGLING)
THOMAS: Hey, ladies!
Yo! Hook a sister up.
Don’t look, don’t look.
At who?
My baby daddy,
that’s him over there.
Don’t look.
I see you.
How you doing?
Why don’t you ask
how your son is doing?
That’s a line
you ain’t tried
in a while.
Can I buy you a drink?
You need to buy
your baby something.
You right.
Hey, bartender.
BARTENDER: Yeah.
Let me get a milk on the rocks,
and put it in a sippy cup.
BARTENDER: You got it.
Oh, yeah,
and a Patron pineapple
for my son.
(SLURPS)
So, you wanna dance?
No.
(BABY SLURPS)
(BABY BELCHES)
Come on, Charity.
You know you wanna
dance with me.
That’s all you ever wanna do,
is argue with me
and dance with me.
Come on.
(SLURPS)
(EXCLAIMS)
(LAUGHING)
You so crazy.
I’ll be back in, like,
five minutes, okay?
One second.
Turn around!
Yeah, yeah, come on.
So, what do you
wanna drink?
I don’t know.
You’re the genius,
remember?
You know everything.
I don’t know everything.
Like I don’t know
how Jermaine Dupri
got with Janet Jackson.
And I don’t know
why porn stars pray.
It’s pointless.
You know God’s
up there like…
(BABBLING)
I definitely don’t know
how Star Jones
didn’t know
her husband was gay.
I mean,
he laughs like this.
(LAUGHS FORCEFULLY)
You need to
take care of your
responsibilities.
Yeah, but you still
love me though, right?
You right.
You know what, boo?
I was thinking
that we should
have another baby.
(WHOOSHING)
(FOREVER PLAYING)
(GASPS)
(LAUGHING)
This is my song!
Yes, yes!
I’m so happy!
Yes, yes!
(THOMAS WHOOPING)
I’m so excited! Yeah!
(CHOKING)
Yes!
Come on, let’s dance.
No, I really don’t
feel like dancing.
Come on. I wanna see you
dancing circles around me.
(CHUCKLES) Okay.
Watch the body.
♪ I’m gonna take you there
♪ I’m gonna take you there
♪ So don’t be scared,
I’m right here, ready? ♪
Let me show you
how it’s done.
(GRUNTING)
(LAUGHS)
Right.
Where am I?
Where are you?
I don’t know. Where am I?
Where’d you go?
Where did I go? I don’t know.
Seriously, though.
Where are you?
Here I am.
Oh, hey. That was…
Just magic.
Follow me.
Yeah. Step. Step.
This is easy.
Yes!
That’s right,
your boy A-Con in
the building right now.
Yeah, here we go, y’all.
Bass drop!
(PUT YOUR HANDS UP PLAYING)
(EXCLAIMING)
♪ Put your hands up
♪ Put your hands up
♪ You got a $20 bill
♪ Put your hands up
♪ You got a $50 bill
♪ Put your hands up
♪ You got a $100 bill
♪ Put your hands up ♪
Now give me
all your goddamn money,
everybody, right now!
That’s right, B!
Come on, that’s right.
Put it in there.
Trick or treat,
smell my heat,
so me and my baby
moms can eat.
Come on!
Hey. Yo,
where y’all
suckers going?
Well, well, well,
if it isn’t the Pied Piper
of short dancers.
We’re ready to battle.
So you think you can dance?
Well, step up. Bring it on.
‘Cause we,
we America’s
best dance crew.
CREW: Yeah!
(THUDS)
Hey! What’d I tell you?
Like Michael Jackson’s video!
I lean, you catch me.
MAN: Okay.
Okay. All right.
I think y’all better
roll bounce
before
we stomp your yard.
And take honey here with you,
’cause she’s coyote ugly.
Huh?
You better be
at the Streets.
We gonna
be at the Streets, fam,
so
y’all best be on your job.
Oh, we on our job.
Let’s roll, 409!
What you gonna do?
What’d I say?
(GROANS)
Man!
Thomas, hang on!
Thomas, wait!
Hold on a second.
What was that back there?
Believe me,
you don’t wanna know.
Well, I had
a great time tonight.
I’m glad you liked the club.
I’ll see you tomorrow.
You got a ride?
No, I’m just
gonna walk home.
Uh-uh. Uh-uh.
No, no, no, no.
There’s too many
wannabe thugs around here.
Yeah, I’ll walk you.
No, it’s fine,
I can protect myself.
I was actually hoping
you could protect me.
(LAUGHING)
You’re serious.
Yeah, I’m serious.
Well,
what are you gonna do?
Don’t worry about me.
Lil’ man is packing.
Good night.
Do you have one of those?
I had a really
great time tonight.
Yeah, me, too.
If you ever wanna, like,
hook up sometime
and work on your dance moves,
I’m totally, like, up for it.
Well, yeah,
that’d be great.
Well, I’ll see you
tomorrow, then.
All right.
Thanks for the dance.
No problem.
(GASPS)
You have to
teach me that one.
THOMAS: Okay.
Okay.
See you.
Bye.
My house is that way.
(MEGAN EXCLAIMS)
(GIGGLES)
Mm.
Are you gonna do
your show tomorrow?
(MUMBLING)
Don’t have any more
alcohol.
Don’t you see
what it’s doing to you?
It’s ruining your life.
You’re on the floor with no
shirt and tight pants.
Promise me you’re not
gonna have any more
alcohol.
(GULPS)
(BURPS)
(RETCHES)
Promise me you’re not
gonna have any more alcohol.
Don’t have any more
alcohol
or else I’m gonna disown you.
Say you promise.
I don’t have you.
What? What do you mean?
Of course you have me.
I only have a little
black boy.
That’s true, but that doesn’t
mean you don’t have me,
so say you promise.
I promise.
All right.
Let’s warm up.
(SHE’S A MANIAC PLAYING
ON STEREO)
♪ It can cut you like a knife
♪ If the gift becomes the fire
♪ All the while you’re between
♪ What’s will
and what will be
♪ She’s a maniac,
maniac on the floor
♪ And she’s dancing like
she never danced before ♪
(EXHALES)
(MUSIC STOPS)
Okay, let’s do this.
Okay.
Yeah, now you’re getting it.
See, hip-hop is aggressive.
It’s raw, so what I’m gonna do
is I’m gonna invade your space
and then
you invade mine back.
It’s like a battle. All right?
Okay. Okay. Okay.
All right. So,
I’m gonna guide you.
Okay.
Okay.
Your space, my space.
Your space, my…
How’s that feel?
Good. Good.
Good, ’cause I’m gonna let go of
the training wheels now, so…
Really? Okay.
Yeah, get ready.
You got it. Feel it.
(BOTH GRUNTING)
(GROANS)
It’s aggressive. You gotta
be aggressive towards me.
Okay.
Bitch, what’s wrong with you?
You just gonna invade
my space?
(THUDDING)
Don’t invade my space!
(GRUNTING)
(MEGAN GROANS)
You’re gonna invade my… Knees!
Good.
Now learn how to
back your shit up.
You wanna try it again?
No, no, no.
All right.
I’m good.
Very good.
Very good.
So, that’s it for today.
Tomorrow I’m gonna
teach you how to do this.
Okay.
So, tell me, what’s up
with you and A-Con?
I don’t get
why you guys hang out.
You’re so different.
Look, me and him got into
some stuff a while ago.
He got caught, I didn’t.
But he never ratted me out,
so I owe him for that.
But don’t you
wanna be something more
than just a street thug?
I know you’ve got
bigger dreams than that.
What do you wanna be?
I wanna be a doctor.
I bet you wanna
work with kids,
don’t you?
No, vaginas.
What?
I wanna be a vaginacologist.
They’re all I think about.
Big ones, small ones,
the cute ones with the little
Hitler mustaches on them.
Or how about
the ones that are fat
like Jay-Z’s lips?
Oh.
But I gotta get into
college first, so…
But what about you?
What does your mom think
about you dancing hip-hop?
My mom’s dead.
Well, how come
you never talk
about her?
(SIGHS) What am I supposed
to do? Run around the school
yelling about it?
If it helps.
My mom’s dead! She’s dead!
My mom’s dead!
(MOANING)
This book is so good.
(CHARITY EXCLAIMS)
You like Thomas,
don’t you?
No.
Well, he’s okay,
I guess.
He does have a nice smile,
beautiful skin
and luscious lips.
But I love his big,
fat…
Hey, hey, hey, girl!
That is my brother.
What? I was just
gonna say “butt.”
Oh. Well,
you should see his…
(DOORBELL RINGS)
I wonder who that could be.
I hate when people
come by unannounced.
So tacky.
(DOORBELL CONTINUES RINGING)
What do you want?
You know what I want, Charity.
I’m here to pick up my son.
Hey, son.
All right, I’m out.
I’ll be back next week
to pick him up again.
He’s such a good father.
THOMAS: Yes! I got in!
CHARITY: What is it?
What’s happened?
Dr. Thomas Anderson!
Let me see. Hold on.
“You and everyone else
that applied
have been accepted
“to Just Community College.”
(ALL CHEERING)
Just Community College?
Oh! Just Community College!
That’s great. You got in!
Congratulations!
(ALL LAUGHING)
MEGAN: That’s great!
Megan,
tonight I’m taking you
out to celebrate.
Don’t look.
Okay.
Stairs, there’s stairs.
Where?
Right now.
Okay.
I’m so excited.
I’m glad.
Are you looking?
No, I’m not looking.
All right. Are you ready?
Yes.
Surprise!
I’m sorry.
I can’t go in there.
What do you mean
you can’t go in there?
This is where I’m taking you.
No.
Come on.
It’s opening night.
You’re going.
♪ She risked her life
♪ What a sacrifice
♪ Smashed by a truck
♪ Last words were,
“What the fuck?”
♪ Momma’s gone, momma’s gone
(SOBBING)
♪ No more can you see her face
♪ Or hear her voice
on the phone
♪ Your momma’s dead,
momma’s dead
♪ And she’s never coming back
♪ Your momma’s dead,
momma’s dead
♪ That’s right,
she’s never coming back
♪ You can wish
♪ She’s never,
never coming back
♪ You can cry
♪ She’s never,
never coming back
♪ Now go kill yourself
♪ That’s right,
she’s never coming back ♪
Mom!
Encore! Encore!
I thought you would’ve liked it.
I did.
You wasn’t acting
like you did.
Wasn’t even being loud.
I didn’t hear you heckle once.
I’m sorry.
I don’t want you to think
I didn’t have a good time
tonight, Thomas,
but dancing
isn’t a part of
my life anymore.
Why not? You just woke up
one day and decided
to waste your talent?
How do you know I have talent?
‘Cause I danced at the club?
Because I saw
the look on your face
when you did it, Megan.
It’s the same look
you had tonight.
It’s the same exact
look that you had.
(INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING)
It’s the same… Mother…
Guys, can you
quiet down here, please?
Can I talk to the girl?
Low self-esteem?
Vulnerable?
(MUSIC STOPS)
Thank you.
(SIGHS)
Like I was saying…
Yeah.
I saw the look
on your face
when you did it.
It’s the same look you had
tonight. Goofy, happy, pale
with freckles.
So, if you’re gonna
tell me something
about not dancing,
then tell me
something real.
Maybe I don’t want it
to be real.
What I want
is to wake up
and see my mom.
(SOBBING) For things to go
back to the way they were
when life made sense.
And it’s all my fault.
She got scraped off
the highway for me.
For my damn audition.
She was rushing,
it was raining. I…
Wait, it was raining?
Well, yeah,
but she promised
she would be there.
I made her promise.
Damn! So, it was raining
and you still made her
promise?
(CRYING) Yeah, and then
I didn’t wait for her.
That’s messed up!
So, even if she didn’t die,
she still would’ve been late?
I know I should’ve
waited for her, but
they called my name and…
And then I didn’t
say anything.
So she would’ve got there
and been stuck outside.
That’s what you’re saying?
Well, technically, yeah,
but they called me.
You didn’t put your mother’s
name on the list?
Are you kidding me?
Well, I had to go
over my dance moves,
so I didn’t have time to!
You didn’t have time
for your own mother?
The person
who gave birth to you.
You didn’t have time for her?
No, I… No, I…
Okay.
No, I see what kind of
party this is.
(WEEPING)
Cry me a river.
All she wanted was
for me to dance.
No. All she wanted
was to live.
(GASPS)
Not that she didn’t
support your dream.
It’s just, the point is
you killed your mother.
And she’s never coming back.
She’s dead because of you!
God hates you, okay?
So, you not dancing
doesn’t make any
damn sense at all.
I know! But she…
I just don’t think
I could do it without her.
Do you want this?
I mean, do you really
wanna go to Juilliard?
Yeah. Yeah, I do.
Well, then,
it’s on you to make
your dream come true.
Oh, shit,
black girls.
So what you’re gonna
wanna do is make that left,
go up three blocks…
I don’t know you, and…
What are you…
Thomas, what are you
talking about?
Sistahs! Yeah!
(SIGHS)
So this is where
you live?
Yup, this is it.
(INSECT BUZZING)
Oh, my God!
This is my dad’s
music room.
He’s actually pretty good.
If you like the buckets.
(BOTH GIGGLING)
I don’t.
He’s working tonight.
So he’s gonna be gone
all night.
Oh.
So that means we could
probably play the TV
as loud as we want.
Yeah!
The Blue’s Clues
marathon!
It’s not working.
Well, I was thinking
more like…
(MOANING)
Make hot dogs?
Not exactly.
Oh.
Okay, more like:
Oh,ice cream. Who has two thumbs
and wants ice cream?
This guy.
No.
(MOANING)
Oh, charades.
I like charades.
Yes!
Yoga?
Leap frog. Uh, okay…
Yeash! Yeah!
riding the pony.
No, Thomas!
Have sex!
(LAUGHING) Oh.
Why didn’t you say
something?
Well, I’m a little shy.
(GIGGLES)
Yo. Sugar Bear
wants to see you.
Who’s that
scary-looking guy?
Who, him?
That’s nobody.
Just an old friend, you know.
Okay.
We should all get
together sometime.
Yeah, great.
I’m just gonna go hang out.
Do some cardio. Read.
Well, have fun.
I will. I really…
Hey, yo, Thomas,
they caught us, fam.
I don’t know how
they found you, though.
I gotta go.
Okay.
So, I’m gonna
give you a call
around 9:11?
That’s a little late,
but that’s okay.
And I also got us
some Police concert
tickets.
Oh, my God,
I love the Police!
I’m so excited!
There’s a COPS marathon.
COPS. Love it, right?
Okay, I’ll TiVo it.
(WHIMPERS) Okay. Bye.
Bye!
(SIGHS)
You ain’t got my dough yet?
You know how much bread,
how much cheddar
how much cake that is?
I want my chips!
Don’t worry, man,
we gonna have your
money for you, Sug.
When?
Soon as possible, fam.
Well, that ain’t
good enough.
There’s a dance battle
coming up,
and I suggest you win.
What if we lose?
No!
No! No!
♪ And I am telling you
♪ My belly’s growling
♪ I like glazed ham,
pig feet and toes
♪ The Biggest Loser,
I say no
♪ Give me mo, mo,
mo, mo steaks
♪ Chicken and ribs, too
♪ I’m not living
without food
♪ I don’t wanna be
no Nicole Richie
♪ Chips by the mountain
♪ Soda pop from the spout
♪ You can say
what you wanna
♪ I’m not working out
♪ Fry me some chicken,
strike up the grill
♪ ‘Cause you’re gonna feed me
♪ That’s right,
you will
♪ Yes
♪ I am smelling food
♪ I’m so hungry
♪ Smucker’s is the best jam
I’ve ever known
♪ And you, and you, and you
♪ You’re gonna feed me
♪ Feed me
♪ Feed me
♪ Feed me
♪ Feed
(INHALES DEEPLY)
♪ Me ♪
TRACY: Be aggressive,
guys! Let’s score!
Excuse me!
Come on, let’s
get that basket!
Why do they call you nappy?
I don’t understand it.
Why don’t you
“D” up on her?
You know, maybe if you
weren’t so tired from
having sex with Thomas,
(GASPS)
maybe you could guard her.
How do you know
I had sex with Thomas?
GIRL: Who’s the ho now?
(GASPING)
Give that back!
No!
(NORA SCREAMS)
MEGAN: You’re going down,
Twiggy!
NORA: You bow-legged bitch!
(STUDENTS CHEERING)
Break it up!
Break it up!
Get off of her!
What are you doing?
I am not gonna have
two nubile, sweaty
teens fighting like that
making me moist
in my own gym!
Do you understand?
If you’ve got a beef
to settle, we’re gonna
settle it my way. Got it?
(WHISTLE BLOWING)
Oh, yeah!
That’s what
I’m talking about!
GIRL: Get her!
COACH: Come on! Get that ass!
Grab it!
You want some of this?
I’m gonna make it rain
on these hoes! Yeah!
Show me what you got!
Let me see some ass!
(WHISTLE BLOWING)
(SHOUTING) What is
wrong with you guys?
Do you know what’s at
stake here?
We’re talking
state championships!
Hey! Stand up, Weiner!
You’re not looking
polished, Knob!
You gotta play hard,
Cockran!
Headd!
You gotta give me some!
Don’t you guys wanna
know what it feels
like to be winners?
To be 10 men,
holding each other
after a big victory?
Standing naked
in the showers,
screaming at the top
of your lungs,
foam flying?
Yes! Yes!
Yes! Now,
that is the spirit, son!
Now, the rest of you,
get your head in the game!
Let’s go!
So, how did he catch it?
Probably one of them
kids at school.
You know kids.
I told him to wear a condom,
but does he listen to me? No.
Just like his damn daddy.
(BABY COUGHS)
Now you sit there
and let it itch.
So, I heard
about the fight.
Yeah. It was all
Nora’s fault.
It was all Nora’s fault?
You didn’t have
anything to do with it?
No! She’s just
jealous of me
and Thomas.
Well, what do you expect?
It is hard out there
for a white girl.
It used to be that
y’all just show up
and bat your eyes
and the brothers
would come running.
But now,
the competition
is fierce.
You see, girl,
first it was
J.Lo with Puffy.
She opened the door
for every Latina
this side of the border.
Then it was Kimora Lee
Simmons leading a dojo
of Asian bitches.
And now,
we got Kim Kardashian
and her big, Armenian ass
pulling brothers right
and left.
So, what is
a rich white girl
supposed to do?
The last thing she needs
is you coming in here
with your blonde hair
your perky breasts,
and a little bit
of rhythm
taking the last
sellout brother left.
You think that Nora
is the only oppressed
white girl?
Well, I’ll have you know,
I have paid my dues.
Excuse me, miss?
Have you been drinking?
(HICCUPS) Nope.
Ma’am, step out of the car.
(CHUCKLES)
(SLURRING)
The damage isn’t that bad.
(GROANING)
(WHINING)
Ma’am, blow
into this tube.
(GASPS)
Ma’am,
I meant this tube.
It’s a lot bigger.
(CHUCKLES)
(BEEPING)
Ma’am, I’m gonna
have to take you in.
(GATE BUZZING)
(GATE BUZZING)
OFFICER: Time’s up, Miss White.
You’re free to go.
Hope you learned
your lesson.
What took you so long?
Your flashback was longer
than your time in County,
and that don’t
make you one of us.
I thought we were friends.
What do you mean,
we’re not gonna pay
Sugar Bear back his money?
‘Cause I’m tired of Sugar Bear
always trying to punk us, B.
What type of self-respecting
thug pays back a debt?
So, what are you gonna do
when he comes after us?
He ain’t coming after us.
We gonna get him first.
Meet me under the bridge
tonight, 8:00.
No.
Bitch.
Okay.
(SIGHS)
♪ That’s the code
of the street
♪ When they shield us
from the heat
♪ If you can’t take the beat
then you should take a seat
♪ Middle of the night… ♪
(MUSIC STOPS)
(SIGHS)
There’s something
I need to tell you.
You’re pregnant? Oh, no.
What? No, Thomas,
I’m not pregnant.
Good, ’cause with your
big head and my ears,
God only knows.
No, I’m performing
at the senior showcase,
and then, who knows,
maybe Juilliard.
That’s great!
And I was kind of
thinking, you know,
maybe we should
just kind of cool it
for a while.
What do you mean?
I’m saying
I think we need
to take a break.
Break, definitely,
yeah, we should
definitely take a break.
How long you need,
like, 30, 40 minutes?
We actually should
synchronize our watches,
so we can meet up…
No, Thomas. I need space.
Okay. Space. Space is good.
That’s enough space?
Thomas, we’re done.
Definitely. This has been
a long rehearsal, very tough.
Thomas, I’m leaving you!
I don’t wanna be
your girlfriend anymore!
We spend more time
defending our relationship
than actually having one!
Nobody wants to
see us together.
Not my friends
and not yours.
I’m saying it’s over.
Fine.
Fine, leave! Get out!
Sorry! I’m sorry!
(SCREAMS)
(GROANS)
God has put you in my path
and I aim to keep you!
I’m making steaks for dinner
and I expect you to stay.
(THUNDER RUMBLING)
(THE WAY I ARE PLAYING)
♪ Yeah, yeah
♪ I ain’t got no money
♪ I ain’t got no car
to take you on a date
♪ I can’t even
buy you flowers
♪ But together we can be
the perfect soul mates
(WIND WHOOSHING)
♪ Talk to me, girl
♪ Baby, it’s all right
(SCREAMING)
(CRASHING)
♪ You can still touch
my love, it’s free
Megan!
(SCREAMING)
♪ Thug it out
till we get it right ♪
So, here’s my number.
You just call me.
(EXCLAIMING)
You married?
(CHUCKLES) That’s sexy.
I’ll talk to you later.
(METAL CLANKS)
Oh, shit.
Hey.
Hey.
Can we talk?
Can we talk, Charity?
I just want to let you know,
from now on, things
are gonna be different.
I don’t wanna be
the kind of father
that his kid only
sees him on
the weekends.
That’s not
the kind of life I want
for my son. My son!
You don’t even
know his name.
It doesn’t matter!
Maury said it was
a 99.9% chance
that he is mine!
And I’m gonna honor that!
(SOBBING) Anyway, I want
my kid to wake up every morning
and see my face.
Here,
put this in his room.
I’m out.
Hey, sup, man,
I gotta talk to you.
I ain’t going with you.
What you mean
you not going with me?
I mean this shit
is dangerous!
Of course
it’s dangerous,
it’s a drive-by!
But we can
get the money.
All we have to do
is battle the 409s
at the Streets tonight,
pay Sugar Bear back,
and we’re good.
Nigger, did you wear a pink
shirt to a drive-by?
It brings out my eyes.
Look, if you
walk away from this,
I’ll walk away with you.
Walk away from what?
I’m not you, Thomas.
I can’t go to Just
Community College
like you,
be a doctor,
operating on
people and shit.
Yes, you can, man!
If I can do it,
you can do it!
Not with these hands!
(CRYING)
I got guns for hands!
They call me
Edward Triggerhands, fam.
For me,
it’s all about respect.
A-Con…
(CAR ENGINE STARTING)
(CAR DOOR CLOSING)
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
Are you wearing the elastic
I asked you to wear?
Keep your chins up.
(SIGHS)
You’re never gonna be a Nora.
Have a good show.
(CHATTERING ON RADIO)
Yes, this is she.
Hey, Charity.
Where’s Thomas?
The last time I heard,
he and A-Con went
after Sugar Bear.
What?
Yeah, well, they owe him $5,000
and they can’t come up
with the money.
There has to be
another way.
Well, if he had a crew,
he could’ve battled
at the Streets
and possibly won
the money back, but where
we gonna find a crew?
Hey, guys!
Thomas is in trouble
and he needs our help.
There’s a battle
at the Streets tonight
and he needs a crew.
So, what are you saying?
You want to start a crew?
(CHUCKLES) Yeah!
And who’s gonna be
in this “crew?”
Well, maybe
you don’t wanna step out
of your perfect world,
but there’s a lot going
on under the radar
at Musical High.
Take sweet little
Tracy, for example.
She has really bad hair.
(LAUGHS)
Tyler has a horrible smile!
And what about you,
Nora?
I mean, everybody knows
that you’re the best
dancer in school.
Let’s do this!
(ALL CHEERING)
What about the showcase?
(SHAWTY GET LOOSE PLAYING)
♪ Shawty get loose
♪ Baby, do what you do
♪ Let me see ya
let down your hair
♪ Shawty get loose
♪ Hit the dance floor
and act like there’s
nobody else in here
♪ Shawty get loose
♪ Crump, clown,
break it on down,
♪ Baby, do your thang
♪ Shawty get loose ♪
The 409 Crew coming up,
y’all! 409, yeah!
It’s that time, y’all.
Now, I believe that
our distinguished panel
of random extras
have made their decision.
May I have
the envelope,
please?
Man.
And for all you people
at home watching,
I am wearing all yellow.
This is a tight moment.
Tighter than
the button on my suit.
Ladies and gentlemen,
we have a winner!
The winner is…
Hey, yo, Truck!
What do you want, punk?
Hey, hey. Hey, now.
I wanna battle!
Me and you,
one on one.
That’s not how it goes.
You have to have
a crew to battle.
Says who?
It’s a written law
of the Streets.
Says it right there.
“No dance battling
without a crew.”
And you don’t have a crew.
Oh, yes, he does.
Megan?
What are you doing here?
Oh, no,
this for street dancers only.
They’re not street dancers.
We gonna do it
just like we do it
on the Streets.
Now the baddest man
hit my hand.
(GROANS)
Now you’ve been challenged.
Do you accept?
Let’s do this.
All right.
Then it’s gonna be
the 409 Crew versus,
what’s your name, young man?
Thomas Uncles.
The Uncle Toms!
Show your love!
Let’s go, 409,
let’s go!
Uncle Toms, assemble!
(CROWD CHEERING)
(SHAKE PLAYING)
♪ Shake, shake,
just shake, shake
♪ Shake, chica,
shake, shake
♪ Shake, shake,
just shake, shake
♪ Just shake, chica,
shake, shake
(CROWD EXCLAIMING)
♪ Up in the club
♪ Fuck V-I-P
(CROWD CHEERING LOUDLY)
We got this.
♪ Ain’t her ass
swollen or what?
♪ Yes, sir, yes, sir
♪ Oh, we gonna take it back
like thieves and foes
♪ Nasty as I wanna be
(CROWD GASPING)
Hey, wait a minute, I thought
only the good guys get to go
in slow motion?
(SCREAMING)
(CROWD EXCLAIMING)
Hey, yo, Thomas.
A-Con!
What’s up?
Wait, what happened
with Sugar Bear?
Mr. Stache took
care of that, man.
We good.
Now let’s serve
these suckers, B.
Everybody huddle up.
Hold on, man!
Yo, how we gonna compete
with these guys with
these guys?
(GASPS)
We got this, A-Con.
All right, everybody.
You just do what
you do best, okay?
Let’s do this!
(CREW CHEERING)
♪ Shake, shake,
just shake, shake
♪ Just shake, shake
♪ Just shake, chica,
shake, shake
♪ Shake, shake,
just shake, shake
♪ Just shake, shake
♪ Just shake, chica,
shake, shake ♪
(GROANS)
(CREW LAUGHING)
What’s going on?
I don’t think
I can do this.
Remember the routine
you used to do at the club?
Do that
and you’ll be great.
Okay.
(TURNIN’ ME ON PLAYING)
♪ Now wait a minute,
little buster
♪ You got one more time
to feel on my booty
I didn’t mean
that club.
♪ You turnin’ me off,
you turnin’ me off
♪ You turnin’ me off
♪ Better recognize
a real woman
(WHOOPS)
(CROWD CHEERING LOUDLY)
♪ You better come correct
how you approachin’ me
♪ Dime divas give it to me
That’s my girl!
What’s this?
♪ I gotta be feelin’
your energy
♪ I gotta be for sure
that you’re into me
♪ Recognize a real woman ♪
Yeah!
(HOLLYWOOD SWINGING PLAYING)
(CROWD CHEERING)
Nigger! Did you
wear tight ass shorts
and skates to a battle?
Yeah. So did you.
(CHUCKLES)
Oh, yeah.
And it worked for T.I.
in ATL, right?
What up, dawg!
(CHUCKLING)
♪ Hollywood
♪ Hollywood swingin’
♪ Hollywood ♪
Wee!
Stop weeing!
(TINKLING)
(CHUCKLES)
(CHUCKLING)
Yeah! What!
Yeah!
(CROWD WHISTLING)
They did their
thing tonight!
And the judges
have made
their decision.
And the winner is…
A tie?
THOMAS: What?
(CROWD BOOING)
Oh, hell, no!
Y’all can’t do this
to these kids!
What y’all want to see?
Y’all want to see them
battle it out?
(CROWD CHEERING LOUDLY)
All right.
We gonna do this
the Stache way.
Each crew
gets one move,
no rules,
and the audience
will decide.
Let’s get it on!
(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)
Let’s go.
They got one move left,
and we know what that is.
Three, four,
five, six, seven.
(LAUGHING EVILLY)
What are they doing?
Stealing our move, man!
I’m stealing your shit!
Now what?
Yo, that’s not fair.
You stole our move!
That’s true.
But you still got
one move left.
Sugar Bear?
I came here
to get my bread,
my chips, my cheese.
Here you go.
I’m talking about
my money, bitch.
Don’t get cute.
All right, fat boy,
let’s see what you got.
(BIG THINGS POPPIN’ PLAYING)
♪ Do it, do it, do it
♪ What you waiting for
♪ Do it, do it, do it
♪ What you waiting for
♪ Do it, do it, do it
♪ Now let me hear you say
♪ Big things popping,
and little things stopping
♪ Big things popping,
and little things stopping
♪ Big things popping,
and little things stopping
♪ Ball on these suckers,
being broke is not an option
♪ Do it, do it, do it
♪ What you waiting for
♪ Do it, do it, do it
♪ What you waiting for
♪ Do it, do it, do it
♪ What you waiting for
♪ Do it, do it, do it
♪ Now let me hear you say
♪ Big things popping,
and little things stopping
♪ Big things popping,
and little things stopping
♪ Big things popping,
and little things stopping
♪ Ball on these suckers,
being broke is not an option
♪ Do it to the maximum,
take it, why you asking them?
♪ Don’t listen
to them suckers
♪ When they say
you too irrational
♪ See I said I was king
and them lames
started laughing
♪ Same sucker now,
I want the king
on the track
♪ I composed several classics
(SCREAMING)
I’m about to
get in your ass!
♪ Do it, do it, do it
♪ What you waiting for
♪ Do it, do it, do it
♪ What you waiting for
♪ Do it, do it, do it
♪ What you waiting for ♪
Am I still cute?
I look like a black Gumby?
ALL: Uncle Toms! Uncle Toms!
Uncle Toms! Uncle Toms!
STACHE:
And the crowd has spoken!
The winner of this year’s
Battle of the Streets
and $5,000
goes to the Uncle Toms!
Yeah! Show your love!
Now that’s a battle
right there! That’s
what I’m talking about!
(WHOOPING)
GIRL: Good work, guys!
Hey!
Hey!
That was really wild,
what you did out there.
Thanks. I couldn’t
let you go out there
and risk your future.
Oh, my gosh, Megan!
Megan, congratulations,
girl!
Thanks, Charity.
By the way, I brought
somebody with me.
Well, now, that
certainly was different.
I guess it was.
So, you and your entire
crew
missed the senior
showcase for this?
Ever since I started
hanging out with these guys,
I’ve learned a lesson.
Some things
are more important
than going to college
or getting
a high-paying job
or inventing something
that could save
the lives of millions.
It’s something
we like to call respect.
And you only get it
here, in the Streets.
ALL: Yeah!
Well,
this might surprise you,
but I know a little
something about the hip-hop.
(LAUGHS)
What you know
about hip-hop?
Well, back in the day,
I happened to be one of
the best beatboxers around.
THOMAS: Is that right?
Yeah!
Well, why don’t you
kick a beat then?
All right.
(BEAT BOXING)
That beat is hot.
But her lips
ain’t moving.
Oh, yes, they are.
Yo!
(BEAT BOXING)
(GASPS)
(CAMELTOE HUMMING)
♪ We like to party
♪ We don’t cause trouble
♪ We don’t bother nobody
♪ We’re just some men
that’s on the mic
♪ And when we rock
upon the mic
♪ We rock the mic right
MAN: ♪ I am a human beatbox ♪
(FLIGHTLESS BIRD,
AMERICAN MOUTH PLAYING)
♪ I was a quick wet boy
♪ Diving too deep for coins
Hold onto me.
(WIND WHOOSHING)
♪ Then when the cops
closed the fair
♪ I cut my long baby hair
♪ Stole me a dog-eared map
and called for you everywhere
What’s the matter, Thomas?
You think you know me?
Yes.
Then you need to
see me in the light.
(PANTING)
Are you afraid?
No. I’m not afraid.
You should be.
(GROANS)
(EXHALES)
(SIGHS)
(HISSING)
Aren’t you even
a little scared?
No. More disappointed
than anything.
You just turned around
with glitter on your face.
You don’t even have fangs.
Let’s dance.
♪ Have I found you
♪ Flightless bird ♪
Now you’re dancing.
At prom. And next year,
at Juilliard.
Thomas,
why didn’t you take me
when you had the chance?
You don’t know
what you’re saying.
You don’t really want this.
It will change your life.
Besides, you know
what they say.
Once you go black,
you never go back?
No. You shouldn’t do it
until you’re with the one
you’ll be with forever.
I dream of being
with you forever.
So you really want this?
Yes.
Give it to me right now.
You’re gonna live a long
and happy life with me.
Oh, shit, white guys.
So, what you’re gonna do
is leave the car up front.
Here are the keys.
It’s the one blasting
Coldplay.
(CHUCKLES)
Don’t steal anything,
okay? Scurry on.
(GOT MONEY PLAYING)
♪ Got money and you know it
♪ Take it out your pocket
and show it
then throw it like
♪ This a way, that a way
♪ This a way, that a way
♪ Gettin’ mug
from everybody
who see then
♪ Hang over the wall
of the VIP like
♪ This a way, that a way
♪ This a way, that a way
♪ Now I was bouncing
through the club
♪ She loved the way
I did it bout
♪ I see her boyfriend
hatin’ like a city cop
♪ Now I ain’t never
been a chicken
but my fitty cocked
♪ Say I ain’t never
been a chicken
but my semi cocked
♪ Now where your bar at?
I’m tryin’ to rent it out
♪ And we so bout it bout it,
now what are you about?
♪ DJ show me love,
he say my name
when the music stop
♪ Young Money, Lil Wayne,
then the music drop
♪ I make it snow,
I make it flurry
♪ I make it out all right
tomorrow, don’t worry
♪ Yeah,
Young Wayne on them hoes
♪ A.K.A.
Mr. Make It Rain On Them Hoes
♪ Got money and you know it
♪ Take it out your pocket
and show it
then throw it like
♪ This a way, that a way
♪ This a way, that a way
♪ Gettin’ mug
from everybody
who see then
♪ Hang over the wall
of the VIP like
♪ This a way, that a way
♪ This a way, that a way
♪ Here we go,
one for the money,
two for the show
♪ Now clap your hands
if you got a bank roll
♪ Like some clap
on lights in this bitch
♪ I’m a be clapping
all night in this bitch
♪ Lights off, man it’s on
♪ Creep saw me, she smiling
♪ He muggin’, who cares
♪ ‘Cause my goons
are right here
♪ It’s nothin’ to a big dog
♪ And I’m a Great Dane,
I wear eight chains
♪ I mean so much ice,
they yell, “Skate Wayne!”
♪ She wanna fuck Weezy,
she wanna rape Wayne
♪ Got money and you know it
♪ Take it out your pocket
and show it
then throw it like
♪ This a way, that a way
♪ This a way, that a way
♪ Gettin’ mug
from everybody
who see then
♪ Hang over the wall
of the VIP like
♪ Okay,
it’s Young Wayne on them hoes
♪ A.K.A.
Mr. Make It Rain On Them Hoes
♪ Like ehh!
♪ Everybody say
♪ “Mr. Rain Man,
can we have a rainy day?”
♪ Bring a umbrella,
please bring a umbrella,
ella, ella, ella, eh!
♪ Bitch ain’t shit
but a hoe and a trick
♪ But you no one
ain’t trickin’
if you got it
♪ You know
we ain’t fucking
if you not thick
♪ And I cool your ass down
if you think you’re hot shit
♪ So Rolex watch this
♪ I do it four, five, six,
my click
♪ Clack goes
the black hoe pimp
♪ And just like it
I blow that shit
♪ ‘Cause bitch
I’m the bomb
like tick, tick
♪ Got money and you know it
♪ Take it out your pocket
and show it
then throw it like
♪ This a way, that a way
♪ This a way, that a way
♪ Gettin’ mug
from everybody
who see then
♪ Hang over the wall
of the VIP like
♪ This a way, that a way
♪ This a way, that a way
♪ Yeah,
it’s Young Wayne on them hoes
♪ A.K.A.
Mr. Make It Rain On Them Hoes
♪ Yeah,
Young Wayne on them hoes ♪
(HIP-HOP SONG PLAYING)
♪ Deep down inside
you wanna be alone
♪ So, deep down inside
you wanna be alone
♪ Deep down inside
you wanna be alone
♪ So, deep down inside
you wanna be alone
♪ You always think
your friends are right
♪ You think
your friends are right
♪ You always at their side
♪ You think
your friends are right
♪ I really want you
♪ You really want me
♪ So why are they telling you
not to be with me
♪ I know, I know
♪ I know what I do
♪ Oh, I do, do, do
♪ Oh, I do, do, do
♪ You know I want you
♪ You know you want me, too
♪ So why you trying to act
like you don’t want me, boo
♪ Listen to
your hating friends
♪ They be saying
he ain’t no man
♪ Hey, you do, do, do
♪ You always think
your friends are right
♪ You think
your friends are right
♪ You always at their side
♪ You think
your friends are right
♪ Sometimes I feel like
you never really wanted me
♪ Sometimes I feel like
you never really cared
about me
♪ Yeah, I do, I do, I do
♪ I do ♪
(TELL ME TO MOVE IT PLAYING)
♪ Tell me to move it
♪ You can tell me to move it
♪ Gotta move it
♪ Tell me to move it
♪ You can tell me to move it
♪ I won’t move it
♪ Made my day, made me sing
♪ Girl, I won’t be
together for another
♪ Look at me, another day
♪ If you promise
that you’ll always
make me wonder
♪ Tell me to move it
♪ You can tell me to move it
♪ I won’t move it
♪ Tell me to move it
♪ You can tell me to move it
♪ I won’t move it ♪

This is another fucking hot Japanese. What the Wayans Brothers did for Scary Movie they’re now doing for Dance Flick. Get ready for non-stop hilarity as popular dance movies get schooled! Sweet, innocent Megan’s ballet dreams are shattered when she is forced to attend an inner-city high school where she meets Thomas, a young hip-hop dancer from the wrong side of the tracks. With a new crew of friends, can this suburban girl with no street “cred” step up her game and achieve her dreams? It’s the mother of all dance-offs…and dance movies! Extended & Outrageous.